01 2 / 2012
I Have Lots of Cash On Me Now!
The #1 factor influencing where I buy things is whether or not I have paper money in my pocket. I rarely do!
I bumble store to store with my busted debit cards, swiping away. The magnetic strip on my main card is so worn out and degraded, nearly every purchase I make is a recurring mobius loop of: the clerk audibly sighing when it doesn’t go through > the clerk frowning while wrapping my card in a plastic grocery bag > me saying pathetically, “oh sorry, it’s a little run down” > the clerk swiping til the machine takes my money AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT.
But this embarrassing dance doesn’t keep me from coming back to chain stores, it’s the simple fact that the chains take my card without giving me grief over a minimum. The clerks at Duane Reade don’t give a shit if I buy a pack of Silly Bandz on clearance with my card. If you try that at a bodega, the guys behind the counter will always enforce the $10 minimum house rule written on a crusty sign taped to the register. The behind the scenes BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE MERCHANT FEES translates to consumers like me avoiding the mom & pop shops because I’m always cashless. Advantage: chains!
So in order to achieve my goal of staying out of Duane Reade for a month, I need to stop relying on e-money and start carrying real money.
In other words: I have lots of cash on me now!
